Gary Craig, the founder of EFT, emotional freedom techniques or tapping, has said, “try it on everything.” EFT can be used for pain, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, getting rid of blocks, losing weight, etc. The list is endless. For me, I love using EFT on new unusual issues.
I like to use EFT knowing that Spirit is working through me. So, when I tap, I am tapping into Source/Spirit and Source is coming through me. I remember to have my mind open to allow Spirit to gift me with questions that are pertinent to the situation.
“Sarah” called me recently. I had worked with Sarah on the phone several times before. She shared that she would like to experience a part of herself that she never had before – – ever. She was noticing that she was attracted to some women. She hadn’t let herself feel attractions to women before. Sarah had always seen herself as a tomboy growing up. She loved to play hard with the boys.
When Sarah was in college, she was a physical education major. However a lot of the women in her program were lesbians. She did her best to ignore them and possibly blocked any attractions from them. She considered herself “normal” with attractions just to men. And even though she didn’t fit the regular mold for being an American woman, Sarah did not want to be labeled as a lesbian. Her brother was gay and her family did not accept it. She grew up Catholic. There was a lot of programming about homosexuality not being okay. In fact, there was lots of shame surrounding her brother.
I reminded Sarah that Spirit is working through her, and that we are harnessing the Power of the Universe when we remember our connections. So, even though she wasn’t sure how we were going to clear this old programming—especially the stuff from the Catholic Church—Spirit was working through her.
Now Sarah was at a stage in her life where she wanted to be able to experience pleasure from a woman. Intellectually, she felt like it was something that she wanted and deserved to experience. She asked me if EFT could help her open to feeling pleasure from a woman? I told her we could flush out the beliefs, conditions, and fears, about being bisexual/lesbian and neutralize them with EFT.
Sarah had gone to a sex positive party the week before. She had felt an attraction to a woman, a recent friend, she saw there. They kissed and the other woman “went down” on Sarah. Sarah froze up. Her breath was in her throat and very shallow. She felt really scared like a little girl. After about two minutes, the woman stopped trying to pleasure Sarah because Sarah wasn’t letting it in. Sarah felt trapped in her own mind. I asked Sarah to think back to her childhood, and to look at her conditioning and beliefs that could’ve gotten in the way of her experiencing pleasure from women.
Sarah became very animated. She grew up Catholic, and her mother talked about a cousin who was gay and how that made him crazy. Also, Sarah felt like the Catholic Church pointed a finger at her, saying that the only good sex was in marriage and for procreation. Sarah also felt that the lesbian category was something she didn’t want. She wondered, would she like it better having sex with a woman than with a man? That was a scary thought.
Sarah and I had worked on other issues before, and she knew where her “sweet spots” were. Sweet spots are tapping points in which person knows it is an extra special point. When people have sweet spots, they don’t have to tap on all the points. I will attach a chart to show the tapping points.
These were some of the set up phrases we used:
- even though I’m really terrified of looking at the part of me that is attracted to women, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
- even though I’m noticing that I am attracted to women, I have deeply hidden it in my past, and I love and accept that part of myself that wouldn’t allow me to even experience it in the past.
- even though I am no longer a Catholic, I feel like the old programming still has a hold on me and I love and accept that it is still there.
- even though I wouldn’t allow myself to feel attraction to women, and it was hidden deep within myself, I love and accept that I hid it so well from myself.
- even though society says that being a lesbian or bisexual is abnormal, I deeply and completely love and accept my reaction to that thought.
Her sweet spot was on her collarbone. So, she started tapping there and did a stream of consciousness with all the things that were coming up in her about her fear of being ostracized as a lesbian or bisexual. Here are some of the things that she said:
- this is really scary for me to deal with the possibility that I am bisexual
- what if my family finds out?
- how about my straight friends and coworkers?
- Will people talk behind my back?
- oh my God, what if I like women better than men?
- the Catholic Church says i’m a sinner, I don’t believe it, but I still think that there’s some kind of residue there
- I’ve hidden my attraction to women for decades because I felt that it was so wrong.
- all of this makes me feel excited and scared.
- how will my boy friends react to my new awareness that I am attracted to some women?
- what if they don’t want anything to do with me?
- even scarier, what if I don’t want anything to do with my boyfriends?
- all of this fear and not knowing what is going to happen to me.
Sarah tapped until she felt pretty relaxed about the whole thing. She was going to a party during the next weekend. I told her she could tap on her way to the party. I suggested that she tap away any fear or whatever was coming up. I also reminded her that she is totally at choice: at any point in each encounter she could change her mind. She felt supported by these observations.
At the party, she was ready when a woman came up to her and asked to kiss her. She found the woman to be very attractive. They kissed slowly for a while. It felt comfortable and exciting! She had some other experiences that I won’t go into here. Let’s just say that she was feeling really good about what was going on.
Many people are waking up to the awareness that they are attracted new kinds of people. We are all male and female energetically. EFT lends itself well to clearing away old programming and conditioning. It’s about getting to and releasing the core emotional issues. When those core issues are expressed while tapping they change. And remembering with gratitude that We Are One with Spirit makes way for that change to be integrated into our lives.
If it works, but then something else comes up, guess what? It is coming up to be healed. Just go ahead and tap on it. If you can let go of the victim role, and allow Spirit to work through you– you will benefit the most.
JoAnn SkyWatcher is mostly retired. She plays with her toddler grandson three days a week and can squeeze in a few hours a week to help certain individuals clear away blocks and old programming. You can email JoAnn and describe what your needs are.